Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why do men date women they are not really interested in?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Is it common for Americans to feel "trapped" due to the size and distance of their country from other countries/continents? Is this feeling an exaggeration or a reality?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How strict are your parents?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How do I get off Paxil?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Is it true that people who are possessed by demons cannot see them until the demon is cast out? What is the reason for this?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do flat earthers think using globetrotter, globetard, and other insults will make the educated arguer fall for the silly flat-earth belief?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What are the best mattress options for a comfortable night's sleep in Pompano Beach?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why does a straight man like anal penetration?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What does the Turkish word çıplak mean?

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy bullshit

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What movies and TV shows portray realistic beauty standards?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade